A friend of mine, on previewing Too Many Eyes, said, ‘How can we always be kind?’ and she is right, we are not always kind. But when we remember and when we can be, it relaxes the mind, eases the pain of self and other.

As my Gram used to say, ‘Practice makes perfect.’  Maybe we can just practice.

July, 2007
Robby and I spent ten days on a remote island up the BC coast this July. Wind and solar power, camp shower, outhouse with astonishing view, quiet except for the croak of ravens and the slap of small whales along the bay.

Daily swims from a stony beach in front of our small house ranged from ssstimulating cold to ‘almost like a bathtub’. Read, rest, sit, walk, swim, it was heaven.

On the bookshelf I found and read “The Cinderella Complex”. Published in 1981, it looks at the uneasy conflict of the push for independence and the desire to be cared for. Colette Dowling is relentless in her examination of this dynamic, in her own life and that of others. She discusses how we deny our desire to be cared for, as something distasteful and politically uncorrect. It dives underground and the conflict between the secret wish and the drive for independence drains our energy, ‘like a furnace trying to heat a house when the windows have been left open.’

The way out of this energy drain is through …’scrupulous attention to …your motives,… attitudes and …ways of thinking about things.’ Useful advice, for even noticing the apparently contradictory impulses reveals a wealth of information about this stream of being that we call our self.

It occurs to me that if we can integrate the idea of interdependence into our world view, that we are all independent individuals inextricably bound and responsible to each other, it may soften the apparent division.

What do you think?

Summer Reading 2007

Really Good Books

Good Life, Good Death by Gelek Rimpoche, Riverhead Books, 2001

Gelek Rimpoche was a good friend of Allen Ginsberg. They wanted to do a book together, illustrating Gelek’s teaching with Allen’s poems. Allen died before they could do that, and Gelek includes the poem ‘Do the Meditation Rock’ to honor that wish. The book is a fine synthesis of everything most important in life, whether on the Buddhist path or not.

The Healing Power of Mind by Tulku Thondup, Shambala, 1996

Another jewel of a book; with this in one hand and Gelek in the other, you can discover your innate confidence and joy.

Living with the Devil by Stephen Batchelor, Riverhead Books, 2004

Stephen Batchelor addresses the split between good and evil which we seem to make in all arenas; religious, political and social. We ignore our own negative qualities at our peril. That denial goes underground and is then projected onto the other, whoever that may be. This disassociation of ourselves and others makes possible all manner of cruelties and greed. If we can recognize and integrate the whole range of our qualities perhaps we can approach genuine tolerance and openness.

Blessed Unrest by Paul Hawken, Viking, 2007

Imagine a book in which the whole second half is an appendix, a very long list of some of the organizations which are working right now for the common good.
This is extremely good news.  Paul Hawken moves from the huge systemic problems that we face through the astonishing range of people and groups who are determined to heal our world. He does this with great elegance and insight. The courage and commitment manifested by so many people is an inspiration and an antidote to passivity and depression.

Dying for a Home by Cathy Crowe, Between the Lines, 2007

If you feel squirmy and upset when confronted with a homeless person, if you avert your eyes and walk on, read this book. It is good to be able to recognize a person and a life behind this terrifying state. Ten personal stories are followed by a list of organizations, online resources and books.
Cathy Crowe has been working as a street nurse since 1989. She sees the epidemic of homelessness as a disaster of our own making. Her book may help us to end it.

Having spent some considerable time with both sides of my family over the last month, I find myself thinking about how we talk to those with whom we are familiar. How it can be relaxed and comfortable, then suddenly formulaic. It can become sharp and irritated in the flip of a dime, no time at all and we find ourselves in the heat and flare of anger.

Then I remember reading, ‘Reflections before Admonishing’
Admonishing is something we do not often admit to, though especially with family members, we have the tendency to indulge in admonishing, usually because we really want them to do well, to be happy and thrive.
These potent reflections can make the desire to admonish an opportunity for awareness and can increase our ability to make contact rather than ruffle feathers.

Reflections before Admonishing

Is now a good time to speak?
Am I telling the whole truth?
Is my voice gentle, not harsh?
Am I motivated by kindness?
Am I motivated by a desire to be helpful?

Aren’t they thoughtful?
Next time we speak, can we bring one to mind?

“Show mercy to the slender grass.”

       -from an English sign in China

To say something so exquisitely beautiful, while translating a prosaic reminder, we must have such good hearts. To hear these words and  be moved by them, we must have such good hearts.

Remembering our good heart, we can walk gently on this precious earth.

Good times bad times, whatever’s going on, seeing that fond face makes it work somehow.